My Dearest Cat

I really cannot think and talk now because I just lost my dearest pet. She was with me since I was still in college. I cannot believe that this afternoon when I opened my door and she was not there welcoming me. She was always running to the door when I got home. She died in her sleep. I hope that she had dreamed of her mommy before she stopped breathing.

We lived together over 12 years. When I broke with boyfriend, dumped by my husband, when I was crying, she was always there, quietly supporting me. I just do not want to realize that she will never come back.

I miss her blue, innocent eyes, and those cute little paws. I remember that in the winter time, she jumped into my bed and slept beside me. she often warmed my feet.

I just lost her. I cannot believe how it culd happen. 12 years means a lot. She was the little angel to me. I won't adopt another cat very soon because I don't even know that how soon I can recover from losing her.

花枝喵，生於1996年，歿於2009年，得年13歲 (活太短了)。是我最鍾愛的貓咪，陪著我度過失戀、分手、婚變。不會說人話，但卻用貓語和可愛的磨蹭伴我度過所有開心和失落的時刻。她是我最忠實的朋友、我的寶貝、我的心頭肉。12年了，我沒有一天願意去想我會失去她，雖然我早知道我終將失去。

當我疲累的下班回到家，我滿心歡喜的開門，因為我知道她就站在門後，併攏她的前腳，優雅的坐著等我，看到我的時候，小小的喊一聲"喵"。週末睡得遲了，她要跳上床用前腳叫醒我，催我幫她弄早餐。陪著我熬夜趕工的時候，坐在laptop後面，又怕檯燈太亮，總是用前腳掌遮著眼睛睡覺。這些可愛的樣子，12年來我看了無數次，全都印在我的心上。

Mommy對不起妳，去出差那麼多天，沒有請人24小時的照看著妳，以致於妳到底是什麼時辰走的，都沒有人知道。我回家看著妳仍然滿著餅乾的碗和你最喜歡的Brita濾過的水，眼淚完全不聽使喚。我看妳的樣子安詳，就像平常在我身邊睡著一樣，我知道妳沒有痛苦，也許真的只是老了，心臟停止跳動、沒了呼吸，妳就回天國了。

Mommy拆掉了妳的紅項圈，留作紀念。雖然乾爹說妳戴著好看，我想也許妳也願意帶去天國，但是我好想妳呀! 好不好讓mommy擁有一些妳的味道，還有永遠都除不完的貓毛?我想妳會懂吧?妳永遠都是那麼貼心的小貓咪。從我第一天開始養妳，我就好喜歡妳。

妳還記不記得我們住在和平東路的時候？只有我和妳，那時候還沒有菲菲。妳總是在我下課的時間，乖乖的坐在門後等。聽到鑰匙開門聲音就出來等我。看電視的時候，坐在我的腿上睡覺，呼嚕呼嚕的打著鼾。冬天我們一起窩棉被，讀著村上春樹。那時候沒有錢，只能帶妳去通化夜市的愛貓園買便宜的餅乾，但是妳從來不拒吃。

我們後來搬到中和，搬家第一晚就遇上921大地震，妳嚇得連續一個月不敢出來晃蕩，整天就躲在衣櫥和牆壁的夾縫中。餘震不斷的時候，我抱著妳窩在牆角，知道妳也怕，但是我只有妳。

寶貝，妳在那裡冷嗎？妳忘了帶走妳的小被被。妳愛的貓草還有兩罐，餅乾還有好多......花枝喵喵，我真的好想妳。